Everything You Need to Know About The Backpacking Bidet
If you’re an experienced backpacker, chances are you have wiped your behind with a variety of materials. Leaves, moss, a rock, or anything you can find when you’re in a pinch without toilet paper. These aren’t the most desirable materials to rub against your nether regions, trust me. So why risk running out of toilet paper, why not try a backpacking bidet instead?
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What is a Backpacking Bidet?
A backpacking bidet is a small, portable bidet system that you can pack with you. These bidets can be a small piece of plastic that screws onto a bottle or a full squeeze bottle system that you fill with water.
When you squeeze the water bottle or squeeze bag, it directs a strong stream of water to your heinie to give it a good wash. The purpose is to clean your bum after you do your business. This is appealing for backpackers because it means you can use less toilet paper, if they need to use any at all.
In order to comply to leave no trace principles, backpackers need to bury their poo and pack out their used toilet paper. This is certainly not the most appealing task. Some backpackers refuse to pack out their used tissues and will burn it or bury it with their other treasures. Burning anything in the forest has the potential to be dangerous and burying it can be bad for the environment. Using a bidet can certainly be a preferable alternative.
Why Use a Backpacking Bidet?
There are many reasons to switch over to the bidet life, below are our favorites:
Use Less Toilet Paper
A primary benefit of using a backpacking bidet is that you’ll use less toilet paper. This is a good thing for backpackers for a couple of reasons.
When you go backpacking, in order to leave no trace, you should pack out your used toilet paper. This is dirty business. Since most backpackers find this… well, gross, a bidet is a fabulous alternative. No more baggies of poo paper.
Some backpackers hate the idea of packing out their used TP so much that they leave it in the woods. We’ve all seen nasty patches of used toilet paper in the forest. Imagine if everyone did that. The backcountry would look like an outhouse.
Avoiding the pack-out method and keeping the forest clean are two perks of utilizing a backpacking bidet. However, a bidet goes beyond that in terms of environmental impact. Using a bidet regularly means you use less toilet paper in general. This means a shrinking TP demand, therefore fewer trees cut down to support
Never Run Out
If you’ve ever run out of paper on the trail, you know the feeling of dread that sets in as you realize the only alternatives that are at your disposal. Leaves, moss, a smooth rock, and a sacrificial sock are a few of the options you may have to choose from.
The beauty of a bidet is that as long as you have water, you never need to fall back on these alternatives.
Lightweight
The backpacking bidet is also a great tool for ultralight backpackers. The average roll of toilet paper is around 8 ounces. Many backpacking bidets weigh far less that that.
Most ultralighters will skimp down their TP to lighter specs by removing the cardboard and brining only the supply they need. While this may make their makeshift eighth-roll a little lighter than a bidet, they still need to sacrifice pack space for the dirty bag. A bidet will require less prep and calculation as well.
Fresh and Clean Feeling
There’s something special about the clean feeling you get after a good post-business splash. When you’re spending days in the woods without a proper shower, any tricks for improving hygiene are cherished. Using a backpacking bidet can rinse off not only the residue it’s aimed for, but can wash away dry sweat and grime from days on the trail.
Other Uses
A bidet doesn’t have to be reserved for it’s work down south. A small device that squirts a strong stream of water can serve many purposes in the backcountry. While a bidet may sound dirty, keep in mind that the device shouldn’t actually come in contact with your butt and whatever comes out of it.
Your backpacking bidet can also be used to clean wounds before dressing, used as a makeshift shower, clean mud or dirt off your hands, or rinse a spoon after eating.
Why Not to Use a Backpacking Bidet
While backpacking bidets have a lot of great perks, there are some downsides to be aware of.
Water Source Required
There are plenty of hikes out there with limited water supply. On hikes like this, you really won’t want to be utilizing this resource for the sake of butt hygiene. Drinking enough water is absolutely essential for fueling your body on the trail. You’ll want to reserve every last drop for consumption. For these hikes, you should really bring toilet paper.
Requires Practice
If you’ve ever played darts or shot a bow and arrow, you know that perfect aim requires practice. Same goes for a bidet.
The first few times you use a backpacking bidet you may miss, use too little pressure, or use too much pressure. These errors can cause a damp and uncomfortable mess. You’ll want to practice a bit at home before you take it out in the field.
Having a Wet Butt
The unavoidable result of using a bidet is getting your butt wet. In household bidets, there may be a drying feature or some toilet paper nearby to pat yourself off with. In the woods, there is no booty fan available.
In the backcountry, you can air dry. This may take a while and can get rather chilly. If there are a lot of bugs out, this can also be a disaster for your cheeks.
You could also bring along a small amount of toilet paper for the purpose of drying off. However, the main goal of using a bidet is to eliminate the need for TP, so it’s not ideal. Another alternative is to keep a dedicated butt towel handy, which is…something.
The Best Backpacking Bidets
CuloClean
- Weight: 1.13 oz
- Pros: Small and versatile
- Cons: Requires a separate bottle
This little bottle cap device packs a big punch in terms of portable bidets. Simply fill up a spare bottle you have laying around, screw on the CuloClean, and squeeze away. These fit onto most bottles, so you don’t have to struggle to find the perfect fit.
Find it here!
Happy Bottom Bidet
- Weight: 2.8 oz
- Pros: All-in-one system
- Cons: Takes time to perfect the flow and nozzle aim
The Happy Bottom is a full system in one, so you don’t have to worry about any additional moving pieces. You have the bottle, hose, and carrying bag all weighing in at around 2.8 ounces. The bottle itself can hold up to 13.5 fluid ounces of water, that’s a lot of booty washing. You can extend and bend the nozzle, so you can adjust the stream to be just right.
Find it here!
Tushy Travel
- Weight: 5.3 oz
- Pros: Compact all-in-one system
- Cons: Heavier and more expensive than alternatives
Tushy has made a name for itself in the bidet market, but did you know you could get one of their bidets in a travel size? The design of this backpacking bidet stands out because it is a collapsible all-in-one system. So it takes up the least amount of space in your pack. It also comes with a carabiner so you can hook it onto the outside for easy access.
Find it here!
Bidet All the Way
Once you try a bidet, you might find that you love them! There’s a reason they are so popular in other countries. In fact, they are becoming increasingly popular in North America, too, as people start to realize just how great they can be.
After trying out a backpacking bidet on your next trek, you might find yourself looking to install one in your own house. It’d be a great idea to do so! By using a bidet regularly, the average person reduces toilet paper usage from 23.6 rolls per year to 5 to 6 rolls per year1. That saves a lot of trees and stress on the environment.
The beauty of a backpacking bidet is that they are compact and discreet enough to use anywhere. So if you don’t feel like installing one in your house, you can use the one you bring backpacking. In fact, many backpacking bidets are small and discreet enough for you to bring anywhere. Get a clean wash at home, in the office, at your friends house, heck, you can even use it at a music festival if you want! Fresh tush anytime, anywhere.